White Trash Story Time & Swine Flu Vaccinations

Friday is officially the last day of classes for the semester. As ecstatic as I am about the semester ending I'm even more excited that my pre-student teaching is finally OVA , yes ova, not over. I love teaching but, this school is getting to be a bit much. Trying to be the cool teacher is proving to be harder than I thought. I figured I'm already down at least 30 points for being Muslim, Hispanic, and intelligent. I earned about 12 points for miscellaneous activities and having a 'sweet rack' but, that means the year is drawing to an end & I am in the hole for about 18 points. So what does any good teacher do to get on the good side of her students? PIZZA PARTY! But, I'm poor so, bump that we had a GINGER BREAD PARTY!Hey, if you scream it and throw in the words 'free' and 'yay' it seems so much better. I'm also not poor but, after being told I'm prettier with my mouth closed I decided that my students don't need that much lovin'.

I passed out gingerbread cookies and layed out frosting w/tons of toppings for each of the kids to decorate. I decided after watching The Incredibles and hearing one of my students call the daughter 'bangable' that any sort of movie was out of the question. Who gets turned on by cartoons? They decorated cookies as I read "The GingerBread Man" and all was going well until jake interrupted to say "They can't catch my uncle either."...uhh.

[Insert awkward silence and nervous laughter here]

Long story short (no pun intended)-- turns out Jakes uncle is on the run. But, not from the cops...from his wife. Also, he's apparently currently under Jakes bed--because that's the only place his aunt won't look. I tried not to ask too many questions after he explained "Oh he's had to hide before! ALOT of people want him." Then Susan chimes in telling the class how she knows where Jake's uncle is because her mother told her so. I considered asking how Susan's mother would know Jake's uncles' hiding spots-- when his own wife didn't even know where he was-- until it occurred that perhaps this is why they were hiding (because she was hiding with him).

Then, I ordered pizza. How could you not order pizza after learning that one of your students is related to such a moron?! I passed out the pizza trying to contain the laughter when I hear Jake advising, "Hiding isn't easy ya know. My dad does it but, that's cause he's a professional." I accidentally thought outloud stating, "Oh really?" Of course my 'supervisor' overheard this entire ordeal, damn.I thought I was sure to be fired. But, you can't really get fired from an un-paid job and apparently she had something to add to the conversation.

Boss:"Sometimes I hide too! Never know what might get ya"
Bailey:"Like swine flu!"
Jake:" Or ugly"

Umm, I don't think you can catch ugly but, apparently you can prevent Swine Flu by hiding under a bed. Ya hear that CDC, no need for antibiotics, just bunk beds. Ah, another day of clarity granted by 4th grade students and a 40-something yr old supervisor.