White Trash Story Time & Swine Flu Vaccinations

Friday is officially the last day of classes for the semester. As ecstatic as I am about the semester ending I'm even more excited that my pre-student teaching is finally OVA , yes ova, not over. I love teaching but, this school is getting to be a bit much. Trying to be the cool teacher is proving to be harder than I thought. I figured I'm already down at least 30 points for being Muslim, Hispanic, and intelligent. I earned about 12 points for miscellaneous activities and having a 'sweet rack' but, that means the year is drawing to an end & I am in the hole for about 18 points. So what does any good teacher do to get on the good side of her students? PIZZA PARTY! But, I'm poor so, bump that we had a GINGER BREAD PARTY!Hey, if you scream it and throw in the words 'free' and 'yay' it seems so much better. I'm also not poor but, after being told I'm prettier with my mouth closed I decided that my students don't need that much lovin'.

I passed out gingerbread cookies and layed out frosting w/tons of toppings for each of the kids to decorate. I decided after watching The Incredibles and hearing one of my students call the daughter 'bangable' that any sort of movie was out of the question. Who gets turned on by cartoons? They decorated cookies as I read "The GingerBread Man" and all was going well until jake interrupted to say "They can't catch my uncle either."...uhh.

[Insert awkward silence and nervous laughter here]

Long story short (no pun intended)-- turns out Jakes uncle is on the run. But, not from the cops...from his wife. Also, he's apparently currently under Jakes bed--because that's the only place his aunt won't look. I tried not to ask too many questions after he explained "Oh he's had to hide before! ALOT of people want him." Then Susan chimes in telling the class how she knows where Jake's uncle is because her mother told her so. I considered asking how Susan's mother would know Jake's uncles' hiding spots-- when his own wife didn't even know where he was-- until it occurred that perhaps this is why they were hiding (because she was hiding with him).

Then, I ordered pizza. How could you not order pizza after learning that one of your students is related to such a moron?! I passed out the pizza trying to contain the laughter when I hear Jake advising, "Hiding isn't easy ya know. My dad does it but, that's cause he's a professional." I accidentally thought outloud stating, "Oh really?" Of course my 'supervisor' overheard this entire ordeal, damn.I thought I was sure to be fired. But, you can't really get fired from an un-paid job and apparently she had something to add to the conversation.

Boss:"Sometimes I hide too! Never know what might get ya"
Bailey:"Like swine flu!"
Jake:" Or ugly"

Umm, I don't think you can catch ugly but, apparently you can prevent Swine Flu by hiding under a bed. Ya hear that CDC, no need for antibiotics, just bunk beds. Ah, another day of clarity granted by 4th grade students and a 40-something yr old supervisor.


PerplxinTexan♥ said...

When I was looking for videos about Elastagirl (the wife) from the Incredible I found this and thought it worthy of sharing.

Some people have too much free time

Anonymous said...

hahha where the heck do you live?

Nessa said...

Regrettably im going to have to say that the greater population would be more terrified to catch "ugly" than the swine flu. Have a great weekend! =)

Paris said...

hahah good post. You never cease to amaze me with what you post about. hee hee :) Have a good weekend!

Paris said...
This comment has been removed by the author.
Anonymous said...

What a cute post!

I don't mean to talk about mean things but, I read your post underneath. I thought you were Muslim?

z-dizzle said...

lol PTexan! i love jake cute kid....and you can catch ugly, have you seen my brother? hahaha jk that was mean

Andhari said...

Oh wow catch ugly by hiding under the bed, sometimes what kids say can be used for catch phrases.

By me, of course.:P

PerplxinTexan♥ said...

@ Ano- fortunately I don't live there I only WORK there.

@Nessa- hahahah! point taken.

@Paris- Thanks, once the drugs where off I'll be over to comment. :)

The Demigoddess said...

"Who gets turned on by cartoons?"
Um, apparently there are a lot of people. Ever heard of hentai porn?


Stacy Loo said...

But did you get fired?

Cheryl said...

Wait. Your kids told you you're prettier with your mouth closed? ... I can't even imagine what would happen to that kid if he/she were being brought up in China, but I can tell you that "working in a mine" or "boot camp" would be mentioned.

And yes! I can make your banner. Email me at starbucksbreak@gmail.com to let me know what kind of banner you want.

And um, I'll think about letting you name my kid.. hahaha

PS. I work with a girl named Apple. haha

~PakKaramu~ said...

Pak Karamu reading your blog

LiLu said...

I hope you got extra ham and sausage on that pizza.

I ate as much pork as I possibly could this weekend, just to prove a point. And also because it is DELICIOUS. :-)

OmegaRadium said...

Teachers always told me that they stay young and learn soo much from their students. I wonder if this is one of those situations...do you feel younger?

Anonymous said...

Salam sister. I want to bring something to your attention. I know you are a muslimah. And a lot of muslimahs read your blog. I was going to random blogs on your blogroll, and I found some blogs are really... "inappropriate". I don't want to name any, but I am sure which ones I mean. Those blogs shouldn't be read by muslimahs as they ruin hayah completely. And even if they ARE read, they shouldn't be linked to, so anyone can go from your blog. Because everytime someone clicks those, you are sharing part of the blame for them to read those things. I hope you remove those links from your blog. I won't click it, but some innocent muslimah might come across them unintentionally. JazakAllah.

Lisa said...

Funny as always dear. I especially loved your thoughts on the swine flu. My brother was asked to work from home this week due to the problem with it. People are a little hysterical here in Texas.

I'm constantly amazed by your students. At that age, I don't remember boys talking about teacher's racks. Either times have changed or I really had my head in the clouds :)

I'm just so glad your back sweetie and pray you are feeling better. I love you always.

controlled chaos said...

WOW...I have a lot of catching up to do. I'm sorry I haven't been reading for a while PT. I really am.

I have to say, your kids are hilarious and scary at the same time.
And congrats on finally being done with Student Teaching!!!!!!!!!
Free!! Yay!!!