You Got Me Begging You For Mercy, Why Don't You Release Me ?

Incident#1

I woke up this morning popped in my Flintstones Kid's vitamin and suddenly discovering how thirsty I was downed some Coke Zero. Then BAM! Bop.Fizz! just like that 1996 Mentos in the coke trick my mouth was an active volcano choking me with it's lava of caffeine.

Moral of the story: No matter how thirsty you get don't drink carbonated beverages with children's vitamins. Don't judge me Flintstones it totally legit.

Incident #2

I headed down the elevator of my condos building and kicked the handicapped door open. Yes, I kicked the handicapped button. Anyways the door swung open and as I hopped outside I slipped and ran into the handicapped door.

Moral of the story: Apparently the handicapped door is reserved for those individuals who are handicapped.

Incident # 3

I headed out the doors to class, crossing the street when some lame, yet shockingly cute red SUV pulled up next me and goes I know you're deaf but, I didn't know you were blind.

Moral of the story: Apparently in the Midwest wearing Hijab or anything that covers your ears obviously makes you deaf.


Now I'm sure by this time you're all thinking "great your life sucks in a hilariously entertaining way..and?" And, my life doesn't usually suck, well not this bad. After class I went to work and was consequently in the worst of moods. A little boy stopped by the equipment desk and said "Umm Ms.brown eyed lady, can I play Wii?" I may be the Grinch in alot of ways but, this hazel-hair boy was too cute to resist. I let him check out the Wii controllers and two games. I know, I know, members under the age of 12 have to be chaperoned by an adult and aren't allowed to check out two games but, he had me at 'brown-eyed'.

The little boy skipped off and returned about 5 mins later and tip-toed to throw some Kisses up on the checkout counter. "For being so nice, ya know. BYE!"That did it, that cleared up my entire day, and possibly my week. Nobody said life was easy but, I believe mentalities are a reflection of actuality. If you think life sucks, it will. I also realized that I was having such an awful morning because I obviously had a stained Karma. So to cleanse my Karma I smiled at the lad and did the same to about 25 other complete strangers. Amazing, what a smile can do. He probably has no idea the impact of his kisses but, I'd rather it be this way.

To add to the whole 'awww, amazing!' impact of this lovable tale on my way to clockout and leave I noticed a tall and strikingly attractive guy. It was none other than the red SUV frat guy. Apparently he works out. Shocker. (obvious sarcasm) With my new karma in tact I just smiled at him. He leaned over to whisper "I'm glad you're doing better sunshine". I tried to resist rolling my eyes when I sarcastically said "Oh blessed stars I can hear!" I was going to make it into this whole over-the-top performance where I acted like I was cured of my deafness. I resisted. Then he smiled back and said "Of course you can, I thought you were having a bad day.You almost walked into my SUV that's why I made the blind comment."

I nearly walked into his SUV, he honked, and swerved. Ah, so he made the blind and deaf comment. With the handicapped door, I later realized that a person who was actually handicapped and in a wheel chair had hit the button earlier that morning. It was slick from sweat from where they used their palms against their wheelchair tires. Duh.

Moral of the story: The world is not actually conspiring against me. Common sense would suggest that maybe I shouldn't have drank Coke with vitamins.Little hazel-haired boy saved my Karma from the obvious. And as usual it all started with a kiss.