Friday Fragments//Jum'uah Jottings # 1- I Know It's Your Soul Baby but, Could You Bottle It Up?

Hear ye, Hear Ye! Today I present A.D.D induced blogging. Actually I just lied; I've been A.D.D. blogging since the age of 5, with sidewalk chalk. I got this bang-up idea from the gorgeous ginger over at Yaya's Stuff.

In an effort to keep my newly restored Karma I've decided to begin a section in which I rant/release all the bundled emotions that reside inside. The catch is, once I blog about it, that's it. No more unnecessarily fuming over it or running over peoples cell phones. -- Not that I ever would do such a thing.**looks both ways**


Friday Fragments//Jumuah Jottings #1

My OCD really has been getting the best of me. Since my room is always clean I've started intentionally messing it up and then leaving only to return 4-7 mins later, look really confused about 'how on earth I let myself live like this' just so that I have something to clean. My brother said it makes me sound crazy but, men like crazy chicks if it involves cleaning. Then he called my "domesticated."

When my brother calls me domesticated it agitates my soul. Do I look like a pussy...cat!?
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I'm going home this weekend to visit Ms. Jo's new born. He's all too precious. Not that I still believe in cooties but, I kinda feel dirty considering that I actually know where newborns come from--and it ain't the stork, kiddos. My sister asked "What baby-makin song" I thought he was conceived to. First I think I gagged in my mouth-- no offense to the baby's' parents-- then I answered, anything Barry White. Barry White doesn't sing to or about women he sings to thier reproductive organs. You might not even be trying to get pregnant and then BAM! Barry White comes on and convinces you that you are mistaken.
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Our campus MSA is putting together a movie night. Don't ask why the on campus religious organization is organizing a screening for Hell Boy. I personally fail to see the significance. I asked "why were watching said movie as an MSA event?" I was told "So that the boys and the girls can feel more comfortable with each other in the dark." The person wasn't kidding.
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My unnecessarily hot physics lab instructor favors me. I think it's because he knows I have morals and would never do anything with him. Sometimes, I create awkward scenarios just to see how he responds.

Me:"how many kids do you want?"
Him: "How ever many my wife feels comfortable having."
Me: "Cute but, I need a quantifiable amount!"
Him:" a lot."
Me: "Define a lot, because I'm Muslim so 'a lot' might mean you have to start driving a taxi as a side gig."
Him: "Umm, enough so that when I retire they can all take care of me...and I could use the taxi for another reason."
Me: "Oh."

I'm done asking questions for a while.
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I've started documenting the ridiculous things I over hear throughout the week. Here are my top 4


1." Yeah, but, last time she totally smelt like sex" -- overheard 5th graders from the elementary school hallway--about the librarian.

2."She didn't know it but, we just got married in my head." -- My almost-not-so boss- boss about the first time he met me.

3."Woah, Devyn uses lots of words"-- about a Real World Brooklyn cast member who talks too much and thinks too little.

4."Some people have i-Pods. I just have my g/f's i-Rack"-- Some East coast business major on his phone discussing his "favorite things" while on the bus

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My mom called me fat. It hurt more than I thought it would. I considered being anorexic. Then, I got hungry and ate.
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I've had me braces for 6 years. I think God's punishing me. I lied to my grandma about not eating the peppermints that one time. She said she wasn't watching me but, God was. My mouth hasn't been the same since. I was 6.

Coincide? I think not.