Thank God She's More Sexy Than She Is Patient....

I've been awarded the Sexy award. Say it with me, 'sex-ah' -- make sure you breathe deep and slur the s. My father once told me he was going to legally change his name to "Day Um Sssex Eh, the third" Yes, he proceeded to sound it out phonetically as well. Apparently my family's ridiculous behavior has melded me into a sexy blogger! What exactly is a sexy blogger? Let's Google it:"What is a Sexy Blogger + Perplxintexan?"

Haha, it's me. I can't believe that like 6 of you just clicked that link. Anyways upon receipt of the award you must name 5 things which make YOU sexy.


1.I Could Pass As Jail Bait & Can Finger Paint with the Best of 'em

I'm sure all you pessimist out there are thinking who cares if you could pass for 16 but, trust me it has it's perks. Actually it only has about 3 perks one of which includes getting an extra toy in my Happy Meals and another including these God-forsaken braces! The other plus is that since I work in an elementary school and under the age of 25 I hear playground gossip suggest I'm 'hot teacher'. That's right in a pair of Adidas kicks and without bust exploding from a strategically placed shirt I was called the hot teacher.


2. I'm literate, without pictures.
Again, I bet you're all like I can read too! But, can you? I bet, you can in which case you too are sexy. Where I live however having the ability to read is not only a plus but, sought after. The parents I nanny for praised my ability to actually interpret and not just read. They didn't know it but, it changed me. Sure, I knew I could read books but, now I can read smiles, tears, marriages, and everything in between. I don't just pages, I read lives.

3. I'm Latin and Legal

For whatever reason once people meet my younger brother and realize I'm not lieing and actually am Hispanic I'm way cooler. I'm just saying if I could be mixed with any other nationality why would I pick Mexican? (No offense of course) My spanish is pretty rusty but, I def. inherited the Hispanic flava....not just the rear end the dance moves too. Yeah, I'm a pretty premium dancer. (aA, don't want evil eye)


4. I Haven't Slept With Your Husband/Dad/Brother.....or mom
Perhaps this is only a turn-on to me. But, when we receive clients in the office that think marriages are about absolute honesty, I die inside. Marriages are about the present NOT the past that lead you to the present. Your husband doesn't actually want to see that list of 150+ kids you've slept with, especially since his twin brother is probably on it too. Even the best fall down sometimes and I recognize that. But, I try to make a first impression worthy of repeating and avoid advertising those sins I have created. To some I might be considered 'less experienced' but to have me as the experience is worth it. And during every first we share together he'll know only he has me; how is that not sexy?

5.I'm from Texas Ya'll
So this may come as no surprise to many but, growing up in the gated neighborhoods and cultured streets of Dallas made me the southern belle I am today. I love football and being the perfect southern hostess. I'm all about the Martha Stewart effect and pleasing others delights my soul. When I get really excited my southern twang really exposes itself and my accent gets lots of gasp and blushed cheeks from the boys around here. Being from Texas grants a certain confidence I wouldn't elsewise have. And whats' sexier than being confident in the person you are now?! I'm not only glad but, blessed to not be a size 2. I have an actual figure and so the way I figure if he wants a pile of bones he can head to the local cemetery. I'm actually alive, no Bella Swan, and proudly from Texas.



So doing that just made me feel extra sexy. Good thing I'm not in the teachers lounge ;)
I award the following Sexy Bloggers:

1. Lisa
2. I'm Not Benny
3. The Passionate Bookworm
4. Love Crackhead