Sh*t White Girls Say.....To Muslims

She's funny. Can't wait to see who she turns out to be.

Egypt is the new black...

Dear George W. Bush: this is how the Middle East gets re-made. No invasions necessary.

Protesters have been in Cairo's Tahrir Square for nearly three weeks.
Todras-Whitehill/AP

According to the New York Daily News

Egypt's hated President Hosni Mubarak stepped down Friday - 18 days after his countrymen revolted against his autocratic rule.

Mubarak's exit was announced by his hand-picked vice president, Omar Suleiman, in a brief statement.

"My fellow citizens," Suleiman said. "President Mubarak has decided to leave the office of the president."

The Egyptian Army, he said, has been "instructed" to run the country in the interim.

The announcement sparked an enormous outburst of joy in Cairo's central Tahrir Square, where hundreds of thousands had gathered for an 18th day demanded that the tyrant step down.

Read more: http://www.nydailynews.com/news/world/2011/

I'm not sure what lies ahead for the Egyptian people but, I'm certain it is far richer than what lies behind them.

But, you can't fall in love alone... [The Polygamy Post]

TLC's "Sister Wives," the story of modern American Plural Marriage

It premiered in late fall, maybe even winter, of 2010. It immediately picked up steam as one of the hottest nights on cable television for pushing boundaries of societal norms and expectations. It went were, as average Americans, knew yet so comfortably ignored. It is TLC's "Sister Wives," the inside story of polygamy in modern day America.

As a Muslim I grew up probably more aware of polygamy than I would argue the average 20-something American is. Experience meant nothing however as I, along with my faithful Sunday night TV buddy, Carly, tuned in to TLC's Sister Wives. Words can not accurately express the emotions from happiness to sorrow that filled my soul every time the credits began to role. We gasped and even questioned along with millions of other viewers episode after episode at the Sister Wives and their surprisingly normal lifestyle. By the end of the season it seemed as though more often than not I found myself forgetting they were different.

HBO's"Big Love"

The season ended with a (spoiler alert): new wife being added to the dynamic and one wife contemplating the possibility of an exit. Left w/o a Sunday night show to watch I looked into alternative television programming about polygamy to find a gem, HBO's Big Love. The parallels between the scripted version and the TLC reality version are unreal. There I was again along for episode after episode of polygamy. The difference however was that because Big Love is scripted I felt more at ease with fully judging the characters. This was until of course I realized there was a part of me that wanted to be one.

This sudden urge to become a sister wife myself could be logically assigned to a many number of factors: my age, my location, the weather (icepocalypse), the date, Beiber, etc. But, I say that beneath all the "OMGWTHHOW?!WHY" of both Sister Wives & Big Love there is a certain level of undeniable humanity that I crave. Despite their jealous tendencies, uncontrollable tantrums over nightly arrangements, and soccer practices galore I like the companionship, rush and commotion of the lifestyle that polygamy seems to create. I think of it like a sibling relationship who knows what your family is going through better than your siblings who also grew up in the same family w/the same issues?

Again, this is all nothing more than an over exaggerated thought process as I frequently tend to wish I was living someone else's life, --even if they do share their husband on a rotational basis with me. As I watched the final episode of the season and the constant running/hiding the women had to go through just to be in this life I realized polygamy is more than likely not the lifestyle for me. The companionship just wouldn't amount, in my opinion, to the sleepless nights and possible weight gain from stress acquired by the whole ordeal. Still, a girl can dream can't she?

Welcome To The Family #6- Who Let The Dogs Out?

For those 12 of you who just started singing and/or humming that song in some fashion or another G-d bless you. For everyone else brush up on your '90's pop already.

My brother and I haven't spoken for awhile. No- no Lifetime story is to follow we just realized we have lives...or at least I did. But, today he graced me with a Facebook status we couldn't deny.

"If I see any1 dress their dog up in a freaking Snuggie, they better call Sarah McLaughlin cause me & Mike Vick ain't haven it!"

It's probably horribly unethical and going to reserve me a spot in hell for at least 10 mins. but, I laughed. In fact, I'm still laughing. You should laugh too that way I won't be alone.-- not that I should be worried about being alone while in hell but, I am.

Mais Si Je Reste Avec Toi...

.....There'll be the one less lonely girl.

"Justin D. Bieber- Let me tell you one time, I love you."

For those of you non-American pop culture obsessed humans out there, know that Justin Bieber is the latest tweeny bop sensation. For someone who, at best, reaches my chest and by the looks of it ages at about 10 he's got a voice, a good voice even. I, too, thought he was another fad but, I accidentally stumbled upon this video yesterday and discovered under all that American spirit and Hollywood make-up there's talent. I know, I know, it'll suck once he hits puberty and reality sets in but, look at those cheeks! Today, only furthered my increasing crush on the Bieb as I discovered he can sing in French, perhaps the Canadian, not sure. But, when he belts out "Aucun autre visage ne m'a rendu fou, now all I see is you," I melt. Then I hear, "I'm coming for you."

So here it is everyone:

Dearest Justin Bieber,

Despite your lack of vertical distance and an actual Adam's apple I think you're adorable. You're lyrics only sound significant in French, true but, this we can work past. I write, you sing, we both like crayons, juice-boxes, and naps. So do, do come, and make me one less lonely girl.

Love, PTexan

He's more famous for his smash hit: One Time. YouTube making dreams come true, again.

Where Is The Love?: The Ft. Hood Post

"Image via Fox News, Location of Ft. Hood"

I've been awake all of 20 mins and am flooded with tweets and text regarding the Ft.Hood story. Granted, I am from Texas and so perhaps some of the people texting me are looking for answers as opposed to predicting discrimination but, when I read a tweet stating,

"RT @akonsen I'll bet a $250 Red Cross donation that the #FtHood shooters are Muslim. Any takers?"

My heart immediately sinks, and how could it not? More and more I'm faced with the reality that Islam is currently at the forefront of nearly every instance of media-covered violence. From banks to schools and even in churches if there is crime and there is a person needed to blame you can rest assured a "Muslim" or at least a person with an "Arabic" name will be arrested or killed for the suspected charges soon after. Here's the thing, I'm not denying that ONE of the suspected gunmen was a Muslim. I am however begging Americans, and people everywhere, to recognize that one act of violence on behalf of an individual claiming Islam does not equate an entire religion of violent people.The current facts are as follows per Fox News:

A shooting rampage Thursday afternoon at the Army's Fort Hood in Texas killed 11 and wounded 31 before the gunman was killed and two suspects taken into custody. All three of the people believed to have carried out the shooting were soldiers, Lt. General Bob Cone told reporters Thursday evening, though the motive remains unclear.
Cone said witnesses reported seeing more than one shooter, but that couldn't be confirmed. The primary shooter used two handguns, he said.

The shooting took place 1:30 p.m. Thursday at the post's Soldier Readiness Center, where soldiers undergo medical screening before being deployed or after returning from overseas.

We all know however that Fox News doesn't exactly have the clearest track record of viable 'news,' as it's often biased and ill-cited. Distress lies in the fact that one of the supposed shooters was a man by the name of Major Malik Nadal Hasan. Hasan is a recent convert to Islam, a suspect who conveniently matches the scapegoat criteria of having both an "Arabic-sounding name" and being Muslim. Some immediate points of interest are the words, recent and convert. A person who converts, be it any religion, is not necessarily equipped with all of the same tendencies or understandings that a person who's been practicing their entire lives or at least longer than 'recently' might have been exposed to. Accordingly, I find it worthy of emphasis that the suspected shooter is a recent convert, recent meaning perhaps Major Mailk was not as aware of the true meaning behind Islams ever peaceful ideals. With any religion, race, or other varying factors of an individual there is always room for flaw, misunderstanding, and failure. We after all are but humans. Am I justifying the actions of Major Malik? Not in the slightest, if he did as he is accused with then he is wrong, period. There is no justification in the world, in my opinion, for take any innocent life.

Just makes me want to sing out in Black Eyed Peas lyrics:

I think the whole worlds addicted to the drama
Only attracted to the things that bring you trauma
Overseas yeah we tryin to stop terrorism
But we still got terrorists here livin
In the USA the big CIA the Bloodz and the Crips and the KKK
But if you only have love for your own race
Then you only leave space to discriminate
And to discriminate only generates hate

Real talk: If you never know peace then you never know love.

For fast facts regarding the Ft. Hood shooting be sure to check Hot Air.com & ABC News.

Fashion Serving a Greater Purpose: Pink Hijab Day 2009

"Wednesday, October 28th is this year’s Global Pink Hijab Day. Pink Hijab Day is intended to shatter stereotypes of Muslim women, as well as raise awareness and funds for breast cancer research. All over the world, Muslims participated by wearing pink hijabs, pink ribbons, and donating to breast cancer foundations."

Global Pink Hijab Day started two years ago. This time, founder Hend El-Buri is raising the bar and hoping to spread the idea of Pink Hijab Day to more places. Muslim and non-Muslim women-alike will be observing “Global Pink Hijab Day” by donning pink headscarves. This is a day intended to initiate dialog, promote education about the Islamic headscarf (Hijab), and raise breast cancer awareness.

In America, Magdalenna Garcia of Provo, Utah said “I think that Pink Hijab Day is an excellent opportunity for Muslims to participate in solidarity for breast cancer awareness; it serves as a symbol to the greater community that Muslims share the same concerns, and the hope for a cure.”

The Pink Hijab day has also spread to areas all over the world, including South Africa, Egypt, and Qatar.

“In North America we’ve had Islamic schools and MSAs participate. I hope this year that we can get more people in Muslim countries involved,” El-buri said.

Although Pink Hijab Day began with a small group of high school girls in the small town of Columbia, Missouri, the event now has thousands of participates all over the world.

Participants in Pink Hijab Day will encourage the curious to ask questions about hijab, as well as promoting breast cancer education, and donating to various Breast Cancer Foundations.

Pink Hijab Day is an independent project.

Donations for the Susan G. Komen Breast Cancer Foundation are being collected. We encourage all those who wear pink Hijabs on this day or support this cause to donate $5 or more to the foundation.

Pink Hijab Day has already raised $210 and you can help them reach their goal of $1,000 by donating to Susan G. Komen’s Passionately Pink for the Cure. Get involved in your local communities; check out more on the Susan G. Komen Foundation.


Check it:PinkhijabDay.net

Republicans Attempt to Criminalize the World’s ‘Greatest Threat’ – Muslim Interns!

Rachel Maddow tackles, according to an increasing Republican population, an "important terrorist and national security concern." Take a look at what they're working on now.

Oh Kanye West, Why'd You Have To Be So Heartless?

A quick geography lesson:

"Exhibit A"

"Exhibit B"

"Exhibt C"

The Bengals are from Loser Land
A) The Bengals dropped the ball, again, in a devastating loss in the last quarter of the game. Of course the blame a weak offensive line but, I think blaming Swine Flu would be a better bet. There's no "i" in team but, there is in Swine Flu.

See Also: Bengals Excuses Version 1.4

Kanye West is from Hater Hills
B)Kanye West was at it again, taking center stage, with his rude and inappropriate oral diarrhea commentary Sunday night at the Mtv VMA's (Video Music Awards). Most tragic of all is that within seconds the beautiful dedication to Michael Jackson was forgotten.

See Also:Kanye West as Kanye Rude, interrupting Taylor Swift during 2009 VMA's

& Serena Williams is from Compton


C)Serena Williams mouth took center court--pun intended-- as she cursed at a lineswoman, and it might be the best thing that happened to women's tennis in a while.

See Also: Serena Williams mouth isn't made of win

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*This post may or may not be a direct result of a certain male relative of mines.

In Case You're On Steroids....

So apparently steroids is the new way to get out of a ticket. My blog is OBVIOUSLY under construction and not just because of the title. So please don't feel the need to contact me (tweets included) to let me know the layout is "hard to read" or "sckwey". Also just refrain from emailing me if the words SPELL CHECK mean nothing to you.

I'll be back tomorrow with an update/post (and hopefully decent layout)

UPDATE: People are stupid and are now emailing about where my blog went. To say it's under construction doesn't mean don't come here or I'm demolishing it! Arg. Of course only you people who are actually here have discovered it's not gone...and I'm still typing.


P. And the ladies at Symphonic are following me on Twitter.
They saw my face *gasp* *laugh* *blush**flees....*

P.S. Anyone else hear about how Chris Brown blamed his ignorance...err abusive behavior on steroids? CHRIS BROWN+ STEROIDS+ RIHANNA

P.P.S. Why does everyone have 3+ blogs all of a sudden? Do we really need a blog for every day of the week/month?! (not an individual attack on AMW)

Friday Fragments// Jumu'ah Jottings # 2- Nothing Sounds As Sweet As What I Can't Have...

Last week really cleansed my palette. Unfortunately, this feeling didn't last long but, at least my bladder isn't full anymore. Last week I was urinating like a prego with quads on the way. In case you're wondering "Would you rather Wednesday" was canceled do to an epic emergency in my 4th grade this week--will blog about it later. No worries, this time the post has nothing to do with being fat or where boobs come from. :)


Friday Fragments//Jumuah Jottings #2

When I was 4 I walked in on my dad showering/bathing alot. Don't worry I'm not traumatized, I never saw anything. He used to bathe in the dark. Sometimes I'd hear him talking and began to think someone was in there. Too much Disney convinced me that he had a mermaid, stripper, g/f named Ariel. For whatever reason I thought she only appeared if all the lights were off.


One day I turned off all the lights in the bathroom but, Ariel didn't appear. I told my brother this whole story and he said "Either Ariel is black or you did it wrong." I'm going to ignore the first and obviously racial slur. Instead I ask "how the hell do you turn the lights off wrong?!"
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I was walking to my car last night when I saw a large man walking behind me. I hurried to open my car, as he was approaching quickly but, my door wasn't unlocking and I panicked. It was then I noticed it wasn't even my car.

As I walked away from the other car, he walked up and unlocked the door. - F My life.

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I waste an indescribable amount of time each day. In fact, I tend to convince myself that I'm early just to allot extra time for wasting.Of course I'm sharing some worthless yet, amusing links - so your lives will too be worthless! :)

*Stuffwhitepeoplelike.com- A way to get in touch with who you were really meant to be; don't deny it.

*http://www.fmylife.com/- My life always seems so much better when I laugh at other's misery.

*http://lmgtfy.com/- Let Me Google That For You is pretty much one of the most sarcastically unnecessary things ever created- other than me, of course.

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I've discovered how to make chocolate cake in less than 2 minutes. Of course this will result in an indescribable weight gain. But, for now it's simplicity has captured my short attention span.



The best part is the whole thing can be made in one mug & in the microwave!
You can find the entire recipe here
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Over Heard Tales from My Life

1."Who you are with your i-pod is who you are in life.."-- One of my students parent giving advice to me about my 'unacceptable and embarrassing' musical selections. Pft. Nancy Ajram, Briney Spears, Cat Stevens, Raef, & Spice Girls I don't see the issue.

2."It was so quiet you could hear a rat piss on cotton!" -- Ray J talking about God knows what but, who raised him? lol!

3."Style never goes out of fashion"-- Elizabeth (my sorority sister) commenting on why hijabis have no excuse in not matching their hijabs to their shoes.

4."I used to get penis all the time, now...not so much."-- My almost-Not so-Boss-Boss talking about his Spam inbox on Gmail. [Brilliant]

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My mother started menopause this month. I know you didn't want or need that piece of information but, neither did I. And she still shared it, now you're stuck with it too!
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The school I teach at is in the middle of bumfreak USA. I feel like I should report the parents sometimes but, I don't because then I'd have very little worth blogging.

Example Given

Father: And since I've started smoking cigars in the basement, you can smoke pot down there without your mom knowing.
Daughter: Wait, seriously?
Father: Yeah, just don't tell your brother. He already thinks you're the favorite.
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Douche Bag of the Week

Did you people hear about the genius who smoked his kitten? He claimed his cat was having a bad day and so he placed him into a bong. When asked why the man put the cat in the bong he replied with some bull about how when he has a bad day he smokes and feels better.

Umm, question how did he diagnose that the cat was depressed and where the hell is this man's family someone needs to diagnosis him.

The Less I know, The More I Understand...

"Ms. A you're crazy! Facebook isn't the devil."

I contemplated punishing the blue-eyed tot that called me crazy. Then I realized this was the perfect opportunity to introduce this weeks theme "freedom of speech and expression, how much is it worth?" And, while they may have been right about facebook not being the devil I refuted all claims by opening up my bag to release today's topic thought. It was a crisp and clean copy of the news. There in black and white lay the reason I encourage my students to challenge everything. I told the class that last night lives were bought and sold without them ever knowing.

4 kids revealed that they had a fB. I informed the class that according to fB's newly updated Terms of Use that as of Feb. 4th those 4 kids and everything they ever did across a fB server belonged to not only Mark Zuckerberg, the owner and CEO but, Facebook as a company, forever. According to Facebook my 4 students should have known this was going to happen, but they didn't. Facebook didn't send out a mass notification asking users to sign off on the changes either.They simply updated a note on thier site stating that via the Terms of Use:

"We reserve the right, at our sole discretion, to change, modify, add, or delete portions of these Terms of Use at any time without further notice.If we do this, we will post the changes to these Terms of Use on this page and will indicate at the top of this page the date these terms were last revised."

The first issue with such terms is that The 9th Circuit Court of Appeals in the US has held that companies cannot unilaterally vary the terms of a contract such as this one by merely updating their website, and that actual notice is required to users. I guess that Facebook and/or their lawyers either didn't hear about that case, or they're choosing to ignore it and hope that courts outside the 9th Circuit do likewise.

According to the Consumerist blog, which warned readers of the changes, fB's biggest controversy is surrounding the portion within their updated Terms of Use which states any information or content shared while on the Network is theirs to own, forever.

That means all those documented late-night trips to Wendy's, inappropriate/crude wall post, and Not-so-sober vids will forever remain. I agree that people should consider what they upload before they upload it; BUT is it ok to take material that is not yours and utilize such for the personal betterment of wealth and company growth? Zuckerberg's Monday post sought to downplay fears that Facebook has dark motivations for amassing user data."We wouldn't share your information in a way you wouldn't want," Zuckerberg said.

"But, that's crazy Ms.A. That's real peoples' lives."

Yes, Sarah Lynn it is crazy; and those are real people. I'm all for stealing from the rich and giving to the poor but, this scandal is just down right appalling. I made my about-face from Facebook long ago but, this is enough to make me keep my distance for awhile....or at least Summer.

What Came First The Chicken Nugget Or The Egg McMuffin?

"I'm No Nugget!"

On Tuesday February 3, 2009 I received the following email from one of my students parents.

"Dr. Ms. A,

While I appreciate your diverse methods in teaching I don't like the thought that my son continues to grab at my breast.....either of them..."

I'm sure by now each of you is wondering either A) How did you respond OR B) What the Hell brought her to write such a letter. Really though this entire mini-scandal isn't my fault. Let's rewind shall we?

So, it's about 4th period and each of the kids files in from lunch. Of course lunchboxes and backpacks are being slung right and left and chatter is at it's peak. As a teacher you learn to zone in on particular sounds, gestures, or movements. In my case it was the lack of a certain sound that hinted at a problem. I didn't hear singing.Kylie, the bronze eyed California transfer student wasn't singing her song of the week (Doo Wah Diddy). She always sings this on the way back from lunch. Always. I all too dramatically scanned the classroom to find her, man it would suck if I lost a kid. But, I didn't. She was sitting at her desk looking disgusted and frustrated at whatever was in her hand. I got closer when I heard Cody whisper at her 'it's ok, you're just a chick'.

Now, I could have taken this discussion many ways. First I examined the obvious clues.

Clue #1:According to Cody him and Kylie are 'dating'. Kylie wasn't singing, which could mean that Cody like most men shamelessly broke her heart and stopped her song forever...well at least till recess.

Clue #2:Kylie was clinching onto her lunch of chicken nuggets for dear life.

Clue #3: I'm far too impatient and imaginative to figure out what really happened so I asked Brad. Brad told me that Cody and Kylie were still together. Then he said that Kylie was upset because she didn't have breast. Cody pointed out that even chicken have breast and that since Kylie couldn't find her breast that she was just a chick.

It was about this time that I was kicking myself in the head for ever being a teacher. I took this opportunity to start the creative journal entry of the day "Where do Chicken Nuggets come from?" The thing is the class didn't want to write they wanted to talk. In fact talking wouldn't have been so bad either but, Cody wanted to touch.

Long story short, the class came to the conclusion that girls and boys are different. I pointed out that because of this difference boys and girls have different parts. Different parts mean different conditions. I explained "you can't handle girl parts the way you handle boys parts." I referred the kids back to classroom rule # 5 "Keep hands, feet, and objects to yourself" stating that it might hurt someone else if you handle their parts without their permission. Then Brad asked "What if you have their permission?" I looked down and muttered "damn." I took this time to gather my thoughts and calculate my next move but, during my break the kids start discussing things amongst themselves. That was problem #1. And before we could get to problem # 2 I raced over to the creativity corner and threw two tubes of playdoh at Shelbie and Cody.

Ms.A:"Both of you remove the playdoh from the container. Come to the front of the class and face opposite each other. Then I want for both of you to make chicken nuggets."

Cody and Shelbie's chicken nuggets were similar in shape but, not size. Cody's were huge and Shelbies' were were not. Then I instructed both them to make breast. Codys were lope sided and shelbie made three. Then Scott yells from the back "those aren't breast! My mom touches breast all the time and they don't look like that!" Scott was obviously referring to chicken breast while Cody and Shelbie took literal approaches. But, this is exactly what I wanted. "Both Shelbie and Cody are correct,"I explained to the class. They both made breast, just in different ways.They felt the same but, that they weren't. I continued by saying that people are like breast we are all humans but, none of us are exactly the same. Everyone is different and should be handled as such. Shelbie blurts out, "so Ms. Lawrence has breast, I have nuggets, and you have jugs?"...

Then Scott mutters, "uh-oh" and boy was he right. I informed the class that we needed to wacth our language, you don't have to touch something in order to feel it. Thankfully the majority relaeased an "OH..." in return. So the mystery of chicken nuggets, jugs, and breast was solved. I was tired of outwitting my class and in closing informed them to write a one page paper on 'the importance of accepting differences' for homework. Cody didn't violate Kylie, Kylie sang her song, finished her lunch, and smiled. I put the playdoh back in the cubbys and

Cody asked so how are boys and girls different Ms.A?
I smirked and replied, "Cooties, Cody, cooties."

My rhythmatic regimen navigates melodic notes for your soul and your mental. That's why I'm instrumental

"I'm asking you to believe. I'm asking you not to believe in my ability to bring about change. I'm asking you to believe in your ability to bring about change."

- Barak Obama

I am Jo the plumber.
And regardless of my race, bankroll, sexuality or intelligence level I have a right.

That being said, I'm kinda envious of 'Jo the plumber'. In fact yesterday I stood behind 1,235 people for 3.5 hrs, watched a woman go into labor, and 2 girl scout troops do the soulja boy, to vote. After all this I felt it necessary to cause a scene. Why? Well, in part I did this to entertain myself and the others around me while we zombie-ishly stood to cast our vote. And the 2nd reason I did it is for the same reason I choose to vote, because I can. So basically I announced I was voting Obama| Palin which immediately threw the elderly people behind me into an uproar deeming that I was 'too young' , 'impressionable', and 'didn't deserve a vote'. "You have no clue what yo people fought for lil' girl" Ah, this is exactly what I wanted. So I swallowed my fear and began to grow louder in volume "but, alas it is my vote and my right. So should I chose to frugally write in Justice or even Santa, I can." Hell, I can vote for myself if I feel like it.

This lasted for about 30 mins. and I was sure the TV station would be arriving soon so I could protest my constitutional abilities nationwide. When suddenly something more profound happened. I looked around to realize my creation, dialogue. People were talking, they were interested, ready and willing. Granted, I didn't get on television, I still had to wait my turn but, here I stand in the middle of history. That is undeniable. My ignorance created a 'buzz'. And to think I almost turned around and went home because I was only 1 vote.

About an hr later a young man about 26 yrs old was denied his right to vote with his mother. He was mentally disabled and had trouble reading the options, but he understood his rights. He knew who and what he wanted and was sure of how to make it happen. Yet, he was denied. And here I stood kinda upset that I wasn't 'ignorant' enough for CNN.


Moral of the story:

I have the constitutional right to vote. So wherever , however, and for whatever reason I ask you to vote. Use your right as an American to do what is best for us all. It's your voice, your choice, do as you must..... just vote. Because with or without you, history will be made.