Friday Fragments//Jum'uah Jottings # 1- I Know It's Your Soul Baby but, Could You Bottle It Up?

Hear ye, Hear Ye! Today I present A.D.D induced blogging. Actually I just lied; I've been A.D.D. blogging since the age of 5, with sidewalk chalk. I got this bang-up idea from the gorgeous ginger over at Yaya's Stuff.

In an effort to keep my newly restored Karma I've decided to begin a section in which I rant/release all the bundled emotions that reside inside. The catch is, once I blog about it, that's it. No more unnecessarily fuming over it or running over peoples cell phones. -- Not that I ever would do such a thing.**looks both ways**


Friday Fragments//Jumuah Jottings #1

My OCD really has been getting the best of me. Since my room is always clean I've started intentionally messing it up and then leaving only to return 4-7 mins later, look really confused about 'how on earth I let myself live like this' just so that I have something to clean. My brother said it makes me sound crazy but, men like crazy chicks if it involves cleaning. Then he called my "domesticated."

When my brother calls me domesticated it agitates my soul. Do I look like a pussy...cat!?
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I'm going home this weekend to visit Ms. Jo's new born. He's all too precious. Not that I still believe in cooties but, I kinda feel dirty considering that I actually know where newborns come from--and it ain't the stork, kiddos. My sister asked "What baby-makin song" I thought he was conceived to. First I think I gagged in my mouth-- no offense to the baby's' parents-- then I answered, anything Barry White. Barry White doesn't sing to or about women he sings to thier reproductive organs. You might not even be trying to get pregnant and then BAM! Barry White comes on and convinces you that you are mistaken.
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Our campus MSA is putting together a movie night. Don't ask why the on campus religious organization is organizing a screening for Hell Boy. I personally fail to see the significance. I asked "why were watching said movie as an MSA event?" I was told "So that the boys and the girls can feel more comfortable with each other in the dark." The person wasn't kidding.
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My unnecessarily hot physics lab instructor favors me. I think it's because he knows I have morals and would never do anything with him. Sometimes, I create awkward scenarios just to see how he responds.

Me:"how many kids do you want?"
Him: "How ever many my wife feels comfortable having."
Me: "Cute but, I need a quantifiable amount!"
Him:" a lot."
Me: "Define a lot, because I'm Muslim so 'a lot' might mean you have to start driving a taxi as a side gig."
Him: "Umm, enough so that when I retire they can all take care of me...and I could use the taxi for another reason."
Me: "Oh."

I'm done asking questions for a while.
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I've started documenting the ridiculous things I over hear throughout the week. Here are my top 4


1." Yeah, but, last time she totally smelt like sex" -- overheard 5th graders from the elementary school hallway--about the librarian.

2."She didn't know it but, we just got married in my head." -- My almost-not-so boss- boss about the first time he met me.

3."Woah, Devyn uses lots of words"-- about a Real World Brooklyn cast member who talks too much and thinks too little.

4."Some people have i-Pods. I just have my g/f's i-Rack"-- Some East coast business major on his phone discussing his "favorite things" while on the bus

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My mom called me fat. It hurt more than I thought it would. I considered being anorexic. Then, I got hungry and ate.
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I've had me braces for 6 years. I think God's punishing me. I lied to my grandma about not eating the peppermints that one time. She said she wasn't watching me but, God was. My mouth hasn't been the same since. I was 6.

Coincide? I think not.

Conversations W/Muslims #12: I'll Take Calligraphy & Then I'll Make a Fake Degree...

Spring means the awakening of two things, nature and haram. But, it also means the occurrence of the annual End-o-Term MSA (Muslim Student Association) picnic. And while most people across America are packing picnic-like necessities, towels, toothpicks, food, Frisbees, and the like my MSA packed up a hookah. Yes, a hookah, in fact there were 3 total, and not only were they present but, mandatory. Truth be told I love Muslims, they're hilarious with their cats on leashes and cotton candy hookah flavorings. And perhaps someday these mishaps, better known as my life, will make me very rich but, today they just made me laugh out loud. Not one but, two people caught on fire before Tarif took over and deemed himself "Baba BBQ," during which to other MSA members showed with their indoor cats, on leashes I might add, to an outdoor picnic.

The Syrians started smoking but, left the main area to do so, out of respect I suppose, I can never tell. But, the Turks, never to be outdone by the Syrians, decided to use the lighter fluid to light their cigars, yes cigars, which of course lead to them catching on fire. I contemplated making a hellfire joke but, resisted. And when all was quite I was beckoned. Hassan pulled me over to the side to discuss a 'very pressing concern.' Surely, it is not marriage, why must it be marriage I thought. Now however I think a marriage talk would have been a blessing to what he actually wanted. From what I was actually listening to, he thinks I'm one of the more attractive MSA girls and that he suggests if I lost any more weight that I begin wearing niqab. Comments like these confuse me and so I just stood there until he started scratching his beard. That was it. I told him that while I appreciate his comments I must politely disagree and was feeling rather thirsty so I must get a drink. Apparently me being dehydrated wasn't legitimate of a reason for me to leave because he still had a more pressing concern. I humored him and listened to his plea, that is until I realized what he was saying. He wants to remove the "M" from MSA. No joke. And then that was really it for me. I told him to momentarily excuse me, I was going to go get a drink.

I never came back.

As for the major details let us recall the first sentence of this post, i.e. haram. You see a month ago on an MSA National conference call a highly disturbed brother rang in reporting a 'major gender catastrophe' on his campus. The horrible issue was Extreme Frisbee and in true PerplxinTexan fashion the nervous laughter amidst awkward silence ensued. 'How haram could frisbee be' I thought. Let's just say that my MSA, and perhaps the brother who rang in's MSA, has yet again, found a way to make the halal haram. It's like tackle football with a disk. Although one could argue that the disc was merely an innocent bystander to the fondling. Boys and girls are on the same team, there was lots of jumping...so there was lots of falling [on each other], and let us never forget those delightfully and alarmingly awkward moment when a brother tried to grab a Frisbee and would miss the Frisbee. He got a handful of something, just not the disc.

The Persians told me that while they "understood my efforts but girls just don't ball." This was a direct challenge, never to be ignored, and so I accepted. Soccer and Football were out for obvious reasons. We played volleyball first to 10, best 2 out of 3. I don't take kindly to loosing. I made sure not to. Then I smiled at them and said "you're on my court now," everybody stood around and did the middle school "OOOooh, burn" PWND! They tried acting offended and took it as a you're-on-American-turf-get-a-green card-type thing. It wasn't. They lost, American or not. Maezen told me he likes when I talk to him in Spanish. I'll make sure not to anymore. Only a sixth of our entire MSA prayed at 3sr time, now that's blog worthy. And, one of the cats escaped.

What's that 700 sins to your MSA's measly 13, I'd say it was a pretty successful picnic, no?

Turn My Mic Up Louder I Have To Say Something

I am offended. That being said here is why. Today an article was released in our local (campus) newspaper. The article itself was a brief description regarding Muslim females on campus, more over their dressing habits. Almost ironic in nature however the author isn't who offended me.

The article chronicles the lives of three MSA members:the president, the (current) PR, and last years publicity chair. I myself was asked to participate but, do to obligations I have with MSA National I wasn't available. Now, I regret not speaking up when given the opportunity. The article begins subtle, presenting facts from both sides. It illustrates both those girls who choose to wear and not to wear Al-Hijab. My problem is not with those who choose not wear the Hijab. My problem lies with those who misrepresent the deeply embedded truth that is found in a woman who wears it.

More than a religious ID tag, more than a shield , more than a statement, it is a commitment. I strongly believe that those who choose to wear hijab have something that those who do not can never achieve. It is NOT culture. It is NOT tradition. It is a mandatory bond between your body, soul, and the creator. However, I am a very firm believer in the fact that "There is no compulsion in religion." And, that is why I say that hijab is much more than a physical representation. Hijab is a lifestyle choice.

I have an unbelievable amount of respect for our MSA president. A strong, devoted, intelligent, heart filled human being who never settles for anything less than her best. What I read today however, left me speechless. A friend forwarded me the article that stated:

"Hijabi's illuminate a grace of strength and dignity" and again, "It's hard being 'her' the 'covered' one...but it is something they must accept".

The article is filled with such quotes, boasting about the beauty us hijabi's hold within. So why do I have such anger for such beautiful statements? Because she isn't one of us. And some would think I'm angry at her for not wearing Hijab...but no, that's not it.

Like I said earlier another one of the three chosen to interview doesn't wear Hijab. The difference in the two females however is the way in which they represent it. One notes both its beauty and purpose yet admits "I am not ready. I'm afraid. I know once you start you can not go back". Which despite my feelings on such thoughts... are hers. They are her truth no one can take that away.

With the president however, not only does she not wear Hijab but she mocked and disrespected it. How? She is an EX-hijabi. That's right 'ex' almost like she divorced the thoughts of everything she claims to have stood for. Some would question why she even ever started."If you can not take the heat, then stay out of the kitchen." And, I don't blame her for trying. In fact, I encourage her to began once more.

What I do blame her for is the fact that she said such substantial statements about being a Hijabi when she wasn't and isn't one herself. If you're not going to take that step into wearing hijab, then don't. But, DO NOT have the audacity to acknowledge how proud you are to be a part of something so profound as wearing a hijab if you don't. It's hypocritical and false. You are misleading the masses and creating confusion.

Now us the real hijabis are left standing angry and deceived. Every one on campus is eager to lend advice. "No need to cover your hair, you can take a break like M***** did." You'd think at some point in time Muslims would stop sabotaging each other, own up to their mistakes, and stand as one. What is a girl to do?