8.12.2008

I'm Not Paralyzed But, I Seem To Be Struck by You...

MYNA Ocean pics 08"Let my memories flood over you as you sleep.
I will wait for the day when you capture me in that essence.
Then our two will be one."



You come over unannounced. Silence broken by your voice in the dark. I need you here tonight just like the ocean needs the waves.

People disappoint me. In all honesty why must humanity be so cruel? I went to a 'gathering' tonight. You know the ones designed by a couple of your closest friends to pit you up with some of the less close of your closer people. The awkward-text-while-acting-busy/distracted set-up.On the way home I couldn't help but, to think how blessed I was to be headed home. Then, it happened.

A friend of mine texted me something about my family. I don't think it would have hurt so much if it wasn't true, but it was. He said, "Congrats! On your lil brother". My brothers live in Texas. The girls do not. My parents decided sans me that this would change....overnight. I wish I would be clued into 'family' decisions. There is something about hearing things through the grapevine that really chills me to the bone. When it impacts me directly it matter more. But, I guess that's how everyone feels. This world is so selfish.

Yet, again I realize my friends are plagued by temptations from Saytan (and gave in). My parents are out to destroy me (despite their pleasant smiles and best intentions), my new roomate is stalking me (no joke), and I have another marriage proposal as of Friday. I did what I do best run and then take shelter.

This roughly translates to updating my blogger (like the changes?),de-activating my facebook (again), ignoring all 32 text/hr, jogging for 4 hrs straight, telling my mom I'm disappointed in her, and refusing to eat for 3 days. I'm not depressed though. Resentful and coping maybe that I am.

It's just sometimes I don't have the energy to prove everybody wrong... Or posses the will to stand up and pretend I'm strong. They all took their turns. Now when is my chance to give up?

6 comments:

sevencarpileup said...

1. Using the sunnah as an argument is impeccable logic you got goin there, run with it.

2. Texting friends who aren't there when with a group of other friends, or awkward acquaintances, is just too cool.

3. You should start acting like your parents' decisions are yours. Like going up to your mom and saying, "I think it's time Brother 1 and 2 came and lived here. Kindly oblige, gracias."

4. I hope you're still seriously considering my wedding proposal.

5. Please don't take this out on food. Food wants to help you. If anything go binge. That might stop the proposals too.

Anonymous said...

Messed up template

......Love said...

Noted.

Under Construction.

Apologies.

Anonymous said...

Rockin' new lay. Love what you did (the post and the template)

Michael Bonham said...

Yeah, life can just be really rough sometimes, but it's always good to know that God is just and life is fair in the end, and all the things taken and lost will be restored and the longer you stand strong, without vengeance, the greater you will be vindicated in the end. We all have battles to fight, and not alone. Thanks for the post, keep it up! and I like the new format!

Artistic Logic said...

do you take these photos yourself? do you happen to have a flickr??