And I Know I'll Think I'm Satisfied But, It Won't Last...

No, not the dream where we all unite as one nation, under god--that's scheduled for next Thursday @ 5pm right after the 3pm 'learn to fly' appointment. The other dream, the dream that I held so true. The dream where the Muslim youth of North America realize they are no longer the voices of tomorrow; for tomorrow exists in the children of today. The same dream where I stand on stage one foot in front of the other, mic in hand vision in voice.Well, as of Friday May 22,2008 at 8:45 pm right along with Sir Martin Luther King Jr. my dreams came true. And, as quickly as they were fulfilled they were taken away.

The Jum3uah sermon I attended whilst in Dallas, Texas that very evening blared in my mind,"If you don't have the attitude for gratitude Allah (swt) will surely replace you and it with a person more grateful."Sometimes it seems it's so easy to forget how much we have as humans, as Americans. So easy it is to forget where we came from, who we came from, and what we are here for. I regretfully forgot.

I, the simple Midwest blogger, with ambitious dreams of unity thorough diversity am a part of Voices for Change. Yes, Voices for Changes. The very contest I hoped and prayed for so very long ago. Muslim youth standing for their deen yet not lacking talent. I was selected out of 100's maybe 1,000's in the nation to become the opening act for Outlandish and The Sound of Reason.

Excited?

So was I. And I think that's where my problem lies.

And, maybe it is just another test. Maybe, something will happen to him (the newly named current winner) and I will again regain my position as #1. Or, maybe there is a hidden meaning in the fact that I was named 1st then 2nd. Maybe, I lost sight of my vision....my purpose. I entered as a humble southern girl with an attitude for change. I wanted to inspire,motivate, and drive other Muslims especially the youth to see the beauty not the curse in being an American Muslim. We have a voice. We have the power. And, though this closely resembles a Barack Obama speech it's not. It is determination. And, I lost sight of all of that.


"But, if you pray 5 times a day....everyday....how could you ever forget your lord?", spoke the 12yr old with hazel eyes and pig tails. If at every interval of our lives, every fragment of our beings we are truly giving thanks to Allah (swt) for what we have, and, who we are how could we ever forget? Welp, in all the excitement of the phone call, the free tickets, and overall glory I forgot the most glorified of all. And, even more amazing is that it took 3 days, 15 hours, and 21 students from a Catholic elementary school, at an inter-faith dialog to ask "how could you" before it even occurred that Allah (swt) was sending a sign.

"True merit, like a river, the deeper it is, the less noise it makes."

~Edward Frederick Halifax

Lesson in humility learned. And so here, I sit 4 days, 29 hours, 16 seconds after that fateful 'win' realizing that if I had took but a second to thank the one entity that granted it all, it might still be mine.