9.24.2009

He says, "I'm a Little Short on Money but, Long on Time. Marry Me?"

"Love don't cost a thing, Ms.A."-- actually Jake your mother lied; ask your father. Of course that's what I, though tempted, resisted telling the innocent brunette in my class. But, it did take me back to that fateful day in my 6th grade career that I first heard, "There's no such thing as a stupid question" comment. Now, of course, I know better, there are such things as stupid questions because of course there are such things as stupid people--or at least people with stupid thought processes.

So, as both an inspiration from Twitter and nod to the end of Ramadan I felt a post in which I bit*h about skillfully list some of the many phrases I hate--as though I needed a reason to complain about complaining. We all know good things come to those who whine.

A carefully crafted list of phrases I hate: In no particular order

  1. People who say "Do you remember me?"--If you had to ask, no.
  2. People who say "You make things harder than they need to be"-- Yes, because stressing myself out is a favorite pass time along with knitting and being constipated.
  3. (overheard) "Why you not at the club supporting yo boo?"-- Although this phrase could be varied replacing club with office, presentation, the gym and boo with other things my answer remains consistent: Why you not minding yo own business?
  4. People who say "You're fat"-- & you're skinny. Now catch a breeze and fly away.
  5. People who say "Imma let you finish"-- If you were, then perhaps you shouldn't have interrupted me, you shouldv'e just let me finish.
  6. People who see you with something (usually shiny) and exclaim "where they do that at!?"--apparently where they did that at.
  7. People who ask you, "Did I say/do that?"-- Umm if you didn't that I probably wouldn't have started with "You said/did..."
  8. People who say "My fault/My bad"--Duh, we knew it was your fault before you realized it and decided to announce it.
  9. People who ask "Do you work here?" No, actually I just dress up like the rest of the people that work here in my free time. It's up there with making things harder for myself, and stealing baby penguins.
  10. "License and registration please."


And the phrase which absolutely erks me the most is:
"Take a walk in my shoes."
Actually, I like my own shoes. How 'bout I just watch you walk in yours.



Tell me, what phrases do you hate!?

11 comments:

Anonymous said...

"Because I said so"--obviously.

Hijabi Apprentice said...

"That haram!!"

Just because you don't like it or respect another scholars opinion than "your" shaykh does not mean it's haram.

Hijabi Apprentice said...

oops should be that's haram.

Safiaaaaa said...

'whats up'
'hurry up and make a decision!'
'yo'
lol its funny because these usually occur in one conversation... hmmm
:P

HOPELESSBELIEVER said...

Wow! YOu like knitting and being constipated too!??!!! LOL And here I thought I was the only one, LOL .
Where do people come up with this stuff anyway??
"How's it hanging?"
"What cha up to?"
"....I anin't got no......" Just bad english!! LOL
"You scratch my back and I'll scratch yours" I hate that one the most, I don't want to be "scratched", just don't touch me!! LOL
Great post my friend, take care,
Julian :)

washi said...

LOL so true...

Anonymous said...

@ Hopeless -- hahah that's so freagin' true! Just like when people text or call you asking "watchya doing?" well...right now I'm talking to/texting you. DUH!

Constructive Attitude said...

"Shoo"
"Bro"
"Wattup doe"
"I heard dat"
"What are you?"
"Where are you from?"


Theres SO much more, but I just cant think of it.

Anonymous said...

the walk in shoes things is so funny!

.::Tuttie::. said...

"i don't think you are ready for this jelly."

you are right! i pass.

Anonymous said...

I loved this!

I hate: "you know what I think.."

nope but your ganna tell me aren't you?