Welcome to the Family #5- Do I really need to get a nerve or will a vein do?

The longer summer rages on the lower my intelligence becomes. Part of this is because I am allowing it to decline and part of it is "family time". Scratch that. All of it is family time, family time and Daisy of Love. So I've decided to give in dedicate an entire segment of my blog to my brothers' fleeting class and offensive thought process. Behold! Oh Brother Where Art Thou Filter

Day 1- "Ok, I understand you shouldn't judge a book by its cover, but who actually wants to READ a WHOLE book to judge it?"

That quote is actually home to my darling mother, who just so happens to be the school board president and previous district attorney for the state of Texas.

Day 2- (The following G-chat conversation came after I went out of my way to buy a freagin 4$ birthday card while in D.C. at some gas stationy rip-off place and mail it just so I wouldn't miss his birthday. Minor details.)

me: Did you get your card?
kbdullah: yes i did!
very thoughtful
but i lost it lol
me: you're a damn fool, and semi-pathetic
kbdullah: i know
it said right on the card... don't loose this card
12:44 PM I remember where i put it too
b/c I was trying NOT to lose it
12:45 PM me: WOW
kbdullah: so i put it in the pocket of the car door...of daddy's rental car
12:46 PM and unless he took it out and saved it for me...
me: I can't handle this conversation anymore
kbdullah: i'm sorry
me: apologize to yourself
kbdullah: I did but I wasn't forgiven
me: hahaha
12:47 PM kbdullah: maybe if there had been money in it, ya know an incentive.. i would've remembered

9 minutes
12:56 PM me: You suck, this is why I do nothing nice for the family.
AND I blogged about you
now it's not backbiting
it's blogbiting.

Day 3- "I think it's pretty much a given that midgets don't attend stand-up comedy shows, right? Or circuses really. That'd be a pretty tall order."

Of course he added the infamous "get it?"-- Because my 18+ years of the American education system never taught me what a pun was. Note to self: If you ever feel the need to explain how truly offensive your joke was, just leave the room.


Anonymous said...


Constructive Attitude said...

LOL. I cant believe he lost that card! That is just rude.

Nessa said...

Hahahah!! Too funny!

Anonymous said...

That's also why I'm not nice to my family.

Right no sista

ModestJustice said...

I always lose things like that (but not in a rental car)
You're family's hilarious, we don't say random things like that besides:
Brother- You know why it was called the Cold War?
Me- Because it was cold.. duh
(I had a dee dee dee moment D:)

auty said...

you should have put the balls joke from your younger brother ROFL.

or no, the lights joke when he was talking to your dad hahhahaha

JennyMac said...

Ok...the quote from Day 1 is fantastic...read the whole book in order to judge it. LOVE it. Judge away I say.

PerplxinTexan♥ said...

@ Ano- Glad you too appreciate the exploatation of my brothers' ignorance

@ CA- THANK YOU! Feel free to record that exact comment and mail it to him. I'll even give you the address.

@ Nessa- Thanks for coming back!

@ Ano #2- I think we should make a FB group, "This is why I'm not nice to you"

@MJ- Wow, I wouldn't tell too many people that.

@ Auty- How's Egypt my love? I forgot both of those stories. :( Come back and remind me.

@ Jenny Mac - Priceless, I know! lol

Yasemin said...

I spilled my coffee I was laughing so much! You know, I never realized that Texas families could have this much fun. Love you and I can't believe your brother LOL!